


The Stanford Years

by gaialux



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Community: angst_bingo, Epistolary, Letters, Pre-Slash, Stanford Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-20
Updated: 2013-08-20
Packaged: 2017-12-24 03:04:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/934540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaialux/pseuds/gaialux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam writes Dean letters while at Stanford, and never sends a single one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Stanford Years

**Author's Note:**

> Written for LJ angstbingo square of "emails, letters, etc.". Non-beta'd because, well, I figure Sam had no beta, either (and some misspellings are intentional).
> 
> Supernatural does not belong to me. This piece of fiction was written for entertainment purposes only, no profit is gained.

_D._

_I’m glad I’m at school, okay? I know you told me I’d be regretting it and come crawling back to you and Dad, but that’s not about to happen! I’m happy here. I’m going to school like I always wanted, making **normal** friends, just being a **typical, normal, non-freak** eighteen year old._

_It’s not my fault you are so fucking dependent on this family. I got out._

_S._

///

_Dean,_

_Sometimes things aren’t as great as I made them out to be._

_I’m in a dorm, which is...different. We’ve stayed in motels our whole life and I’m used to hearing the walls shake and bedsprings creak (ha ha), but it’s...different...here. I dunno, man._

_I think I’m adapting, all things considered. Used to just being you and Dad, and now it’s me and all these people I’m slowly getting to know. Classes are okay, I’m a nerd like you always say._

_This is a pussy letter. Fuck. Don’t you **dare** call me a girl._

_Sam._

///

_Dean,_

_I’m scared, sometimes. I don’t even have a gun. Just holy water in a jar and a knife hidden deep in my bag. School’s are perfect for a haunting, aren’t they? What if something comes and attacks someone? You always said I can’t avoid trouble - what if someone gets **killed** because of me? I shouldn’t of done this...what if...fuck…_

///

_D._

_I met a girl. Her name’s Jess. You’d like her, she’s really pretty - way outta my league, you’d say. She doesn’t think I’m a freak, that’s a nice feeling._

~~_I want you to meet her someday._ ~~

_Sam._

///

_Dean,_

_Frst year done and Im top of class. Still tre nerd boy you know n luv._

_Love,_

_Sammy._

///

_Yes, I can write drunk letters. I’m oldschool, man - you should appreciate it._

///

_Dean,_

_I’ve been thinking lately. Uh, yeah - that works. I’ve just...I don’t know...I wonder if I’m supposed to be here._

_You’re the only person I can talk to about this, and you’re gonna call me a pussy for the letter. Whatever, man, you’ll deal with it and you’ll read the whole way through - cause you’re a dick with a heart of gold, it’s true even though I might be the only person on the planet to know it._

_When we were kids, you always told me we had a job to do. You, me, and Dad. The Winchesters. We were all superheroes (and, yeah, you’re Batman) and we had to protect the world. Did me going to college ruin that? Am I letting the world go to shit?_

_Fuck. That sounds stupid reading back. I know they’re stories, okay? I know Batman isn’t real (and you do, too - don’t try and deny it), but ghosts and demons **are** and you told me it was our job to stop them._

_I bailed. I bailed and people are gonna die, aren’t that? It’s all I can think about these days. People will die because of me. That….that’s horrible. Fuck, it’s worse than horrible. I’m the cause of deaths, Dean. How am I supposed to live with that?_

_More than that, I left the family. The only story you told me more than us being superheroes was us being the Winchesters - together until the very end. You said it was you and me against the world, Dean. You. And. Me._

_I’m so fucking sorry._

_I miss you._

_So. Fucking. Much._

_Sammy._

///

He never sent any of them.


End file.
